May 24, 2006

The thong man

This is the story of the Thong Man, a remarkable man who lives in Cleveland, Australia.

I first met the Thong Man on the train around early 2005. Each evening, I try to catch the less-crowded 4:49 from Brisbane Central, and I soon noticed an old man habitually sitting in the same carriage. He was remarkable, because
  • he wore only bright blue overalls, with obviously scissor-cut sleeves
  • he wore cheap, worn-through thongs
  • he appeared to be tall and extremely fit for his obviously advanced years (70? 80?)
  • he was accompanied by pungent cigarette and body odour.
Who was this guy? I thought. He must work in the city. But as what? An obscure labourer? He seemed pleasant enough on the train and never bothered anyone. His habit of removing his Thongs and placing them under the seat was even mildly comforting. I quickly disregarded him as simply a colourful passenger and returned to my reading.

But then I found out that Thong Man walks 30km from Cleveland to Brisbane each day! (except Sunday) I think he leaves in the morning, reaches the city by the afternoon and then catches the train home for tea. I suspect he always buys a one-way ticket.

I drove past him at lunch one short day. He was walking towards the city and was instantly recognisable with his sky-blue overalls, glasses, thongs and square jaw.

We began talking on the train. I asked "How was the walk today?" and he slowly glid into the details, explaining the interesting way that coarse bitumen wore through his thongs faster than anything else. It turns out that Thong Man buys his thongs in bulk, stores them in his laundry and goes through a pair in a week (or so).

I also discovered that he had a particularly keen interest in World War II, and military and social history broadly. His ability to recount details such as names, quantities and vehicle codes was suprising.

What was to suprise me even more, was that the Thong Man would turn out to be a retired NSW police officer. In retirement he continues to be an active disrupter of local drug dealing, and consequently has been the target of numerable hit-and-run attempts.

He claims that after having turned down a $50,000 bribe in August 1999 he has subsequently faced knives, pistols and more than 20 hit-and-run attempts on his life. His response has been to fight back by publishing newsletters that summarise the drug busts he has personally been involved with (usually as a privileged witness since his oath remains valid), letter dropping in business districts with news of organised crime activity, providing an audio version of the newsletter on an answering machine and sending SMS updates of offenses to a lengthy list of subscribers.

The Thong Man is unemployed, though too busy to worry about it.

When I enquired about his past work, the Thong Man related that as a serving officer he had been tasked with getting heroin out of NSW schools in the 1970s.

The Thong Man watches a group of people he calls the "Scrag/Polecat Subgroup" (SPSG). He describes them as elements of the lower-working, upper-welfare class with criminal behaviour, many from a local State School who engage in dealing methamphetamines, heroin and prostitution. The Thong Man would gleefuly support capital punishment for this group.

When the Thong Man smiles, his upper teeth are missing.

The Thong Man is an interesting passenger on the Cleveland train.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home